So it’s been over a week without my precious dork and I’ve missed him oh so much. But tomorrow, tomorrow my Dork comes to see me!!! I don’t know what to do first. Run up and jump into Dorks arms or squeal like a little girl. One thing is for sure we are going to the magic hill.

What you don’t know about the magic hill?

Let me tell you about the magic hill.

The magic hill is in Mendon. It’s a wonderfully glorious magnificent, multidimensional hill with freshly cut grass and a view of the pond. I can’t wait to take Dork by the hand and roll down the hill. And laugh all the way as we go round and round and round. We will get so dizzy the sky might appear to be green. Who knows it might even fall on us. I can’t wait for this adventure.

<3 Spazz

Once upon a Friday not so long ago, Dork and I found ourselves in the mall. We hit our usual spots and wound up at Hot Topic talking to Gay Frankie. I’m not really sure how it came about but next thing I knew we were in the make believe “Mustang GT” heading to Dorje Adornments. We get to Dorje and we are greeted by a lovely man by the name of Nick. He grabed Dork by his virgin flesh and shows no mercy and punchutes it with a beautiful hole. BAM BAM! I never knew Dork could turn so many colors of white…or that there were multipul shades of white. But it was done. It had been decided. My Dork no longer has virgin flesh. And he is now the proud owner of 6g. ears. It makes him a very smexy dork. But I’ll deny it if you say anything. 

<3 Spazz

Riding along in our make believe “Mustang GT” heading to McDonalds, Dork decided he needed a quick change. So at the next stop light he strips me of my hoodie and puts it on himself. He said my hoodie gave him special powers. Miss Trot’s Allot said it made him look gay. But I said thats okay because he’s my gay backwards rainbow dork. Him wearing my hoodie confused to drive through girl taking his order. It confused the girl even more when he leaned over and kissed me. I will never understand what made that moment in time special enough to kiss me. I think the drive through lady was pretty jealous though. I mean wouldn’t you be?

My answer:

Oh no you guys are onto the lucky boxers!!! Well, I guess I’ll need to buy Dork a new secret pair of lucky boxers after this. Anyways, the current lucky boxers are white with four leaf clovers on them. Funny thing is, he never gets lucky when he wears them.

My answer:

42 of course.

<3 Dork

“We’re Not Always Dorks….Sometimes We’re Asleep!”

Dork doesn’t like it very much when I fall asleep on him. And I don’t like it very much when he flops down on me trying to wake me up. Doesn’t he know a girl needs her beauty sleep? Or did he skip that most important lesson from the “Birds and the Bee’s”.

My answer:

Well…..I would post a picture of Dork in his boxers (maybe even his lucky boxers!) but I’m pretty sure Dork wouldn’t like that very much. But then again….maybe he would.

“Mustache Mustache You Attacked Us And Won Mustache”

It was a dark night many moons ago. Foops and I wanted to have a quiet evening at home watching movies but then it happened…it creped up on us from no where. Maybe it was the popcorn. Or maybe it was the ice coffee. I think it was the gummy bears. But there he was Mustache! 

It started off as a wild hair that made us giggle. But then it became two hairs and before we knew it Mustache attacked! He planted himself on our lips and we couldn’t help but bust out in song and dance. It went a little something like this “TO THE RIGHT TO THE LEFT NOW GRAB THAT RAZER AND SHAVE YOUR LIPPPPPPP!!! TO THE RIGHT TO THE RIGHT TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT! GET THAT SHAVING CREAM OFF YOUR FACE!”

<3 Spazz

So the other day Mama Cash got home from the CC and we were at Nana Budapest’s house. After getting our many gifts from her adventures (sadly she didn’t take us with her) Miss Trot’s Allot and I went to the park. And it has amazing swings too!

There is this special swing we like, we call it the Re-Re swing. It’s red and shiny and you buckle yourself into it! Miss Trot’s Allot and I took it for a spin. Fart-A-Tar would of been so jealous cause we got soooo high off the air. It was a life altering moment. I think my toe on my left foot touched the airplanes. Thats my story and I’m sticking to it.

<3

Spazz

(Source: nonsensepoopypants)

Dork and I went for a walk a few days back down the street that has all the Yellow houses on it and we found this awesome tree swing. Its really not awesome, but we like it anyway cuz its special like us. So yeah we was walking and singing and stuff and we find this swing and I am like OMG we has got to try it out Dork.

So there we are me and Dork and this swing, we get on and well we swing so HIGH we are touching the sky and I liked it. I liked that feeling of being one with the birds. It was amazing , I so think you all need to find this swing and try it out for yourself.

<3

Spazz

So yesterday we were driving through the park or maybe it was just random road its really all the same when we came across Tyrannosaurus Turtle….

Dork stopped our “Make believe Mustang GT” Because we be rolling BIG. Oh shit I am rambling again, lets get back to the adventure.

My little sister Miss Trots Allot screams from the back seat “STOP Dork its a turtle!” and we STOP like quick like on a dime kinda stop and Dork gets like these super powers and jumps from the car to save the turtle…. But it’s NO average turtle we find Oh no its a SNAPPER…. 

So there is Dork trying to save this turtle and well he grabs Tyrannosaurus to put him in the pond, but all most looses his gonads in the process. So BIG BRAVE Spazz comes to the rescue and pulls Dork from the hands of death YET again.

Needless to say Dork was $20 short at the end of the day. Who knew saving a life could earn you cash!